Fitness | Shocking Confessions of a Personal Trainer

What you are about to read is true. Some of it may be difficult to believe, but all of it is real. I know because it happened to me. I’m Philip Hitchcock and I’m a Personal Trainer. And these are my confessions:

HitchcockWindowIf I eat any more chicken or broccoli I’ll hurl.

“High protein and dark green carbs” is my diet mantra. I am constantly extolling the virtues of a diet high in animal protein paired with dark green carbs like broccoli, asparagus, and spinach. No bread! No potatoes! No empty, colorless carbs. But give me a break already. I mean there really can be too much of a good thing, right?So last night I ate pizza. That’s right, pizza! Deep dish pizza. With extra cheese. And what I didn’t eat, I rubbed all over my body. The truth is if you eat well most of the time its okay to cheat now and then. Sometimes you gotta’ treat yourself. (Now I’m thinking about cake. I think I’d give my left nut for a slice of chocolate cake.)

Sometimes the last place I want to be is in the gym.

I train five days a week for about 90 minutes a day. I’m in great shape, especially for my age. But you know what? Someday I’ll kick off just like everyone else... I mean nobody gets out of here alive, right? And have you seen the weather lately? It’s gorgeous outside. Hell, even a rainy day beats the hell out of this filthy, steel torture chamber. Who thought these machines up anyway? Half of them look like there leftover from a medieval inquisition. Besides, I’m tired and just want to sleep in. Anybody got a smoke? Sometimes you need a day off and that’s okay.

I hate my body. I’m too old for this crap. The pain isn’t worth it.

Every now and then, when I look in the mirror I say “who am I kidding?” I look like ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag. Diet and exercise can’t fix this, buddy, you’re hanging on by a thread. You’re seconds from oblivion and you may as well give up now. Why even bother?

You’d think that somebody who worked out as much as I do wouldn’t feel this way... I have an eight-pack for god’s sake! But those demons of frustration and insecurity takeover my thinking, too. I forget that nine out of ten days you’ll find me fit and smiling, radiating health and wellness. I forget that overall I have reaped the benefits of consistent exercise and a clean diet, that one bad day doesn’t define me. I remember that...

I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And dog gone it, people like me.

If you’re old enough to remember this Al Franken routine from Saturday Night Live, you’ve probably also lived long enough to learn that it’s fruitless to hold on to negative thoughts and ideas. Sometimes I don’t want to eat right, but most of the time I do. Even when I don’t feel like training, I go anyway. A so-so workout is better than no workout. No amount of self improvement can make up for a lack of self acceptance. That means even my flaws are fabulous!

Philip Hitchcock is an independent, Certified Personal Trainer specializing in “Fitness after 40,” Resistance Training and Weight Loss. He maintains his own client base and is also the exclusive trainer for the Four Seasons Hotel. Check out